Category: Doing Something New

I was chatting with a friend Chris on Saturday evening and we got round to talking about trainers and coaches. he mentioned that when he goes to a yoga class or training session, he expects to work hard and be challenged. However, he measures value not just by how hard the instructor/coach makes him work but by the number of “a ha” or light bulb moments.

He told me that there is an instructor who teaches far away from where he lives that he’ll go to once a month because there will be a couple of critical life changing lessons in every 60 minute session he has with him. Usually it will be about body awareness – he’ll be moved into the right position or verbally cued to change something – and this will reveal the proper way to do a particular move. Chris said that these epiphanies are worth the extra drive because they make all of the difference with his training and each one takes a while to full incorporate.

This got me thinking about the value of the training experience I provide. I do know a lot of these light bulb things and have worked hard to facilitate as many of them as I can with my clients. But there was something about Chris’ “go there once a month” comment that got me thinking that maybe I’ve been overloading people with too much information in an attempt to maximize the value of their training dollar. Maybe 1 or 2 things a month is all people can actually handle because of the cascading effect small changes have on the big picture.

Maybe the better approach is to give people what they came for, a good workout, and give them a little piece of something else every now and then to make sure they have the ability to make the most of each piece of information. This is what I respond to. When Des blows my mind with a small truth, I’m often left with my head spinning for days trying to figure-out how to rebuild my life using this new piece of the puzzle. Other people are likely the same way, and when it comes to movement, new motor patterns do require substantial practice to replace old ways of moving. There really is very little value in overloading the person with information that they cannot use because they haven’t created a strong enough foundation. In fact, my approach was probably hindering their progress.

I’m male, not that this fact should explain anything, but I’ve noticed that guys seem hell bent on solving problems just so we can get back to watching or talking about the sports. When someone begins to tell me about the things that are bothering them I almost always have to fight the urge to tell them what they should do. My first inclination is to assume that they are unhappy about the situation and haven’t been able to see the way through it. This is, at least when dealing with most situations, a really bad way to move forward because people tend to know how to solve their own problems when they have identified them. The journey of their life is their own and only they are in a position to actually address their problems.

Now when I have a conversation with someone I consider the following things before saying anything: do they know what the problem is or is there even a problem? Have they identified their role in the creation of the situation, do they view themselves as a critical part of the situation and therefore the solution. Finally I wonder what they want from me, is my role to listen to them, is my role to think for them, is my role to guide them towards a solution that they uncover for themselves?

When I find myself in a conversation with someone who has an issue that is troubling them and I get the sense that I have the solution, I try to ask them “what do you need me to do right now, listen or give you advice?” More often than not, people will say “listen” and I keep my mouth shut and listen to them talk. This has the effect of lowering their resistance and keeping them open because it eliminates any feelings of judgment. Knowing that the other person is listening to what you have to say and not just waiting for their turn to tell you what they think affords you the opportunity to actually say WHATEVER is on your mind. Most importantly, remaining open keeps the creative energy flowing and this is going to be the best way for a person to identify and find a solution to their problem.

When listening to another person always try to keep in mind that they are on their own journey and should feel free to navigate life as they deem appropriate. If you approach their life from your perspective, unless you have lived their life, you are likely giving them advice that applies to your journey, which isn’t as helpful as you could be.

It’s the CanFitPro weekend here in Toronto so I’ve been attending a few lectures to keep my personal training certification up to date. After leaving one of the sessions yesterday morning I happened to walk past a lecture room where Paul Chek had just finished up and was answering questions.

I’ve read some of Paul’s work before and respect his point of view about a lot of things so I figured I would go in an listen. I prefer to listen to guys like Paul answer question because I think his off the script stuff is going to be more interesting. Well, I wasn’t disappointed.

He was addressing a question about fear and feelings of low self worth. His answer was a breath of fresh air. He told the questioner to accept that there were feelings and that the feelings were coming from a place of love. Next he alluded to the feelings revealing some information that is important but not necessarily worth addressing in the moment.

He said “with things like that I like to play the counting by three game where you count by threes as quickly as possible”. If you find yourself able to do it, then the thoughts do not require immediate action given that you are able to complete a trivial task instead saving your life (I’m paraphrasing here). If you can’t count by threes then you probably need to action quickly because there is something serious going on.

I think this is important. Paul didn’t discount the feelings as he has accepted that feelings do reveal important information or alert us to the fact that something important is happening in our immediate environment; so it is important. But if we are able to shift focus onto something else, then there is a very good chance that there is no immediate threat and therefore a more logical approach may be what is needed to address the situation.

Five things that could make your life easier. 

Accept the world for how it is. Seeing the truth and accepting it will improve your productivity dramatically. When you stop fighting against reality you are free to work with it to improve your experience in the world.

You cannot control the world so focus your energy on things that increase the chance of you being successful. There is such a huge interdependence with all things on the planet that it is impossible for you to control the world. Accept this and focus your energy on the few things that you do have some control over – your thoughts and your actions.

Listen to other people because you will learn something and because it makes the other person feel useful. Almost everything you know you have learned from another person. When you shut your mouth and listen when people are talking you will open yourself to new lessons. You’ll also be giving them the opportunity to clarify and consolidate their memories while feeling they have value for having given their input.

Rarely give unsolicited advice and when giving advice accept that the other person isn’t going to follow it. Unsolicited advice doesn’t cost anything and is therefore viewed as worthless; so don’t expect anyone to action on your worthless opinion. If you want people to do what you say make them pay you to tell them what to do.

Do it now. When we say we’ll do it later we are conceding that it isn’t a priority; what reason do you have to believe that it will become a priority at some point in the future? If you are going to table an action until later, make sure you table it to a specific time and not just “later”.

Over the last 3 years I have interviewed a lot of people who were interested in becoming strength coaches as well has having worked with a large number of actual coaches. Below is a list of 5 essential characteristics individuals must hold in order to be successful in the industry.

Passion for working with people. Passion is contagious. If a coach is passionate when they engage their athletes, there’s a very good chance that they will be able to boost the performance of the athletes and help to create better training experiences, results and compliance to the demands of year round training. The inverse is absolutely true – a coach who lacks passion will lower the performance of their athletes. Passion may not be enough to reach all of the people you train but it is absolutely critical for reaching those people who can be reached.

Seeing gaining knowledge and experiences as valuable uses of your time. Unless you are really good, very experienced or own the training centre, there’s a good chance that the money you earn will be kind of low. For this reason, you need to be able to see the value that time with the athletes, creating programs and running the centre. These experiences are what will make you a better coach and allow you to demand more money in the future. You will not learn everything you need to know at school and don’t really have a choice but to gain years of experience before you can consider yourself a professional. If you don’t hold your professional development in a high regard, this industry isn’t the right one for you.

The ability to accept that other people know more than you. Given that you are there to learn and gain experience, you need to be open to just how little you know about particular things. Part of this is regarding others as experts or as more expert than you are.

The ability to listen and hear what other people are saying. This applies to other strength coaches, skills coaches, parents, bosses, clients and athletes. Everyone has an agenda and great strength coaches are able to uncover the critical needs of all the individuals involved and create a plan that helps address all of their main objectives. Talking to the athletes is the only way you are going to be able to uncover injuries and gauge subjective progress. Your ability to hear what is being said is critical in creating a plan that addresses the actual needs of your clients vs. your perceived needs. For example, you may believe that all athletes should be lean but there are a few conditions that would require that some hold more body fat than others. Unless you listen and hear what everyone is saying, you could end up creating a lesser athlete based on your own belief of what is needed.

A willingness to try new things and follow the advice you give to other people. This is critical because other people can see you walking the walk and if you don’t, they are less inclined to listen to what you say. You are also going to be more convincing if you have done what you are asking your athlete to do. This doesn’t mean that you need to play football or have played football in order for you to coach a football player in the gym, but it does mean you should have tried the nutrition plan you are giving your athletes, tried the training method you are prescribing or have a good level of efficiency in the movements you are coaching. Sitting at the front desk eating chocolate eggs while telling people to reduce their refined sugar intake doesn’t cut it if you want people to eat less sugar. Deadlifting with a rounded back while coaching someone to keep their hips low doesn’t cut it. Telling someone how to power clean based on what you read in a book or saw on YouTube isn’t the best way to coach their movements.

The job of strength coach is a fun and rewarding one. Just make sure you have what it takes before you enter this field because if you don’t, you’re not going to last.

I’ve had a lot of jobs because I leave most jobs very quickly once I stop caring about them. Once I check-out mentally, I look for something else and move on. I never learned to put my head down and keep doing something that I hated to do just for the sake of continuing to do it. This is a mixed blessing. The negative part of it is that I haven’t built a name for myself at any one company. I’ve passed through so many doors and met so many people that I haven’t really made a huge impact on any one organization.

The positive side is that I have never become a transactional employee – a drone from sector 7-G who performs a function for a company while earning an income without thought of or action to improve life. For me, work is almost always about having fun, developing some skill or ability, or being able to find a state of flow in the moment.

Signs that you are starting to become a transactional employee:

• Clock watching – you are painfully aware of the time, you know exactly how long it will be before you leave. Your mind is out the door and thinking about the after work stuff well before your body leaves the building.
• There is an unexplained decrease in the quality or quantity of your work. You start to make mistakes that you wouldn’t normally make, you begin to table today’s items to tomorrow, you sign-off on or submit work that you know isn’t up to your standard. Your attention is no longer on the task as hand and your willing to pass sub-par work off as acceptable quality.
• Your talk with co-workers isn’t neutral or positive about work or you find yourself connecting with the office / work place gossip or complainer. Misery love miserable company and you find the other people who share your level of dissatisfaction. This only serves to foster a larger sense of resentment for your employer and your job. It also alienates those around you who remain fully engaged in their jobs.
• You start sending out resumes for other job opportunities. ANYTHING looks better than what you are doing regardless of what it is. You are open to changing careers and moving into something for which you are unsuited or unqualified.
• There is an increase in the amount of escape behaviours in which you engage; both while at work and while you are not. These can range from things that are simply a waste of time – Internet, excessive trips to the bathroom or unnecessary breaks – but it can include things that are harmful like drinking in excess, an increase in the number of smoke breaks, or pursuit of new sexual partners.
• If you are in a salaried position, you begin to count every hour and minute you spend working. You develop a sense of persecution and begin to collect evidence that validates this belief. You continue to loss perspective and use this “evidence” to further develop your sense of disengagement.
• You feel bitterness or resentment towards your bosses or coworkers. What used to be good interactions begin to be negative and hostile. Their attitude towards you begins to change to reflect your negative approach to work and them and you start to take this as further proof that work is crap and they are lousy people to work with.

There is nothing wrong with trading your time for money so being or becoming a transactional employee is fine as long as it isn’t hurting the quality of your life. It becomes a problem when you change from being highly engaged to disengaged as this is a symptom of a fundamental shift in your personality. If you find yourself showing any of the above behaviours it is probably time to examine your career or job choice.